Between then and now

Just a quick catch-up...

The good news - the hospital allowed me to have a doula attend my birth, providing she attend an orientation meeting there, which she was quite happy to.

The bad news - when I eventually spoke to my gynae about wanting a midwife at my birth, she instantly said no. She said that a midwife's only goal was a natural birth, whereas her aim was a healthy mom and a healthy baby, and suggested that if I chose to use a midwife I would end up with a brain-damaged baby. At best, she was prepared to allow my midwife to be a doula for me, but not to take charge of the birth. The more we 'discussed' it, the more I realised that she was actually quite nervous of natural births in general, not just vbacs - and that she saw me as a high-risk patient simply because of my scar.

I may be scarred, but I'm not broken.

And we all aim for a healthy mom and a healthy baby, we just all have different opinions on how to achieve that aim.

I phoned my midwife in tears the following day, and she suggested a couple of other doctors that may be prepared to be a back-up. Every one of them ultimately said no. One even phoned me, and told me he thought I was being silly.

I began to think that she wouldn't be able to attend my birth, and stopped worrying about it - more because I didn't know how to solve it than because I had accepted it. It was only later that I realised I had to do something, when my gynae said that she was going on leave from the day before my due date. To make matters worse, her covering doctor is notoriously pro-surgery, and I think even if I arrived at the hospital ready to push, he would have carted me off to theatre to cut my baby out of me.

I then made an appointment with a local GP, who I had heard was very pro-natural birth, and she suggested another gynae I could try. Alternatively, she suggested I look a bit further to a hospital in the next-closest city and find a doctor there who would allow me to use a midwife in that hospital.

I emailed her suggested gynae, and after almost 2 weeks of waiting (just as I was ready to start making phone calls to enquire about supportive doctors in the other city), she replied that she was quite happy to be my back-up providing I come in for a consultation to discuss concerns prior to my vbac attempt. I was 34 weeks pregnant and I finally had a back-up doctor!

She was very thorough, and had phoned around to check on how responsible my midwife was before agreeing to be back-up for her. She also did a scan, and checked fluid level, as well as baby position (occiput posterior that day - but thankfully she moved soon after), cord flow, placenta function and even my cervix. She didn't want me to go further than 40 weeks, but was prepared to accept my very first scan (at about 5 weeks) which gave a due date of 3 January.

After that, I contacted my midwife and doula in relief to tell them that we were back on track.